Thanks to you, subscribers to the Critical Palate, who have been clamoring for more posts. Yes, I know it’s been almost a month since my last post, but this one’s for both of you…
First, a special shout out to my friend, and charter subscriber, Carolyn. CS-you’re terrific! Adopting a baby girl from Asia… Holla-back to my cousins Jason and Kim too, adopting a baby girl from Central America! Righteous.
The owner of Starbucks has decided to phase out the breakfast sandwiches by the end of 2008. He says that it interferes with the fine aroma of the coffee and is affecting sales. I got to tell you, as a big Starbucks consumer, they don’t grind much coffee anymore, and with automatic machines, there’s no aroma from the espresso bar. The homeless guy that comes in every morning has quite an aroma though.
Writers’ strike…I’m a quandary. I like TV, but I got to admit, I don’t miss it that much. This past season wasn’t shaping up to be any good. The shows we started watching didn’t really grab us: Journeyman, Bionic Woman, Back to You. Back to You was passable, mostly because of Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton, and their great comic timing. Otherwise, I’m glad the networks are taking it on the chin, and hope the writers get what they deserve. For now, I’m good with my DVR, catching up on M*A*S*H, America’s Test Kitchen and “Pioneers of Television” on PBS. Having watched that series, I see the brilliance in David Letterman even more, as he seems to be a cross between Jack Paar, Jack Benny and Steve Alan. Now THIS is television.
Britney…I’ve gone from being disgusted to being mesmerized, now that we have a “death pool” at work—I got her dead by March 2009. She’s rapidly becoming this year’s Anna Nicole Smith, except without the giant breasts, though she is a huge boob! In reality, I’d prefer to have this watch on the mother of the year, Lynn Spears. Have the authorities thought about arresting her yet? Has anybody figured out how she got out of the trailer park? Between Britney and Jamie Lynn, she’s got to be real proud about the way she’s raised these kids! Someone told me they heard one of them say in an interview “You ever French Kiss? My Daddy says I’m the best!”
The sound you hear is no one watching the Grammys…and I don’t mean my mother.
Special Fan Contribution from “Anonymous”: Amy Winehouse winning Grammys for a song that disses getting help in rehab? What’s up with that? Are we now rewarding unhealthy behavior? If anyone needs rehab, baby, its her.
Survivor: Fans vs. Faves…This show jumped the shark when the girls stopped posing for Playboy. I haven’t watched the last two, and now they bring it back, with Johnny Fairplay (spoiler alert-he got tossed the first episode)? Jeff, wanna know what you’re playing for? An audience.
Most recent movie: “Rambo”. I have never seen a more violent movie, ever, and that’s just Sly’s plastic surgery. I am surprised that I didn’t leave the theatre with blood all over me. The most interesting part: Walking into the theatre and picking my seat, some teenagers said, “here come some hard core Rambo fans” (referring to me and my buddies), to which I respond “going old school.” Damn, I’m cool.
Speaking of Rocky…I’m not sure Hulk Hogan looked better or worse currently on American Gladiator or as Thunderlips in Rocky III-BTW, I hear that’s Britney’s new street name.
Apropos of nothing…I don’t need Oprah, Barbra Streisand or Chuck Norris telling me who to vote for. I’m waiting for Tom Laughlin and Delores Taylor to tell me what to do...
or maybe Lynn Spears.
I’ll be here all week. And now…enjoy Bob Welch.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Things that make you wonder...
There are things that make you go “hmmmmmmmm” and then there are the things that make you perk up and say “What the hell?” A colleague recently shared the following:
Sitting in his car in our office parking lot, my colleague looks in his rear-view mirror, and a pick-up truck pulls in, parks perpendicular to the spaces, and the driver jumps out. As my colleague gets out of his car, he looks over to the truck, and the driver is standing there, relieving himself. There he is, just hanging out…apparently, our parking lot is now a public toilet.
Sure, growing up, if you were on a long road-trip, your parents would pull over and tell you to do your thing. In fact, sometime in the early 1990s, I was on my way back from a wedding in Batavia, NY (Attica!!! Attica!!!) when I was stricken from a large coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts. Though I tried as hard as I could to make it to the next rest area, the restroom gods were conspiring against me, because the rest area was closed for repairs, and the next one was 48 miles away. This brought back memories from camp of funny book titles like “20 yards to the Outhouse, by Willie Maykit”. But, I digress…
Prior to moving into our current office location, we were on a lower floor of our building, with the bathroom, for the entire floor’s use, right across the hall. I would often email a couple of my friends detailing the “crime scene” in there. I will spare you the description now, but let’s just say that the “Delta House” has nothing on this. I don’t know who was trashing the joint, but they left it in worse condition than my fraternity house bathrooms after an all you can eat "hot dog and bean casserole" night.
All these circumstances, the parking lot pisser and the guys leaving the bathroom downstairs like a barn, make me wonder-what is wrong with people, and where do these people come from? What about basic manners? When they leave their houses during the day, do they plan their bathroom antics? As for the parking lot reliever, I have really got to wonder about him. I work on a busy section of a main road, with restaurants and gas stations every 10 feet. Instead of pulling off the road and into our lot, he could have gone 50 feet straight ahead and into a gas station. Maybe he thinks its funny, and maybe he doesn’t mind being charged with a sex-crime (Open and Gross Lewdness), and maybe he won’t mind having to register as a sex offender after his conviction. Frankly, I am now more concerned about what I might step in down in the parking lot.
And what about washing his hands?
Apropos of nothing—I went to see “I Am Legend” last week, and the theatre was not crowded. Plenty of good seats available. I put our coats in an empty seat to my right. Some guy with a bad attitude towards his girlfriend sits in the seat next to the coats, and throughout the movie, as he finishes whatever he’s eating, he throws his trash onto my coat. At first, because the movie is dark, it was hard to see it. But as the lights go up, he and his girlfriend leave, and there’s a bag of half-eaten gummie bears, and a bag of popcorn sitting there, on my coat, along with some used napkins!!!
Again, can someone tell me what is wrong with people? Under what scenario is it ok to throw trash on someone else’s coat? At the movies, that’s what the floor is for!
While I am at it…what’s up with people going out in their pajamas? I was at Stop & Shop the other day, and some woman, maybe in her 40s, is walking around in pajama pants and a sweatshirt. By the way, on the pajama bottoms, on her ass, was the expression “Bee-Ach”—one syllable on each cheek. Yeah, no kidding. Nothing says “I don’t care about myself at all” like going out in pajamas. Sweats move over, there’s a new player in town.
You’ve been a great audience. And now, taking my breath away, the hardest working man in show business…Rex Smith!
Sitting in his car in our office parking lot, my colleague looks in his rear-view mirror, and a pick-up truck pulls in, parks perpendicular to the spaces, and the driver jumps out. As my colleague gets out of his car, he looks over to the truck, and the driver is standing there, relieving himself. There he is, just hanging out…apparently, our parking lot is now a public toilet.
Sure, growing up, if you were on a long road-trip, your parents would pull over and tell you to do your thing. In fact, sometime in the early 1990s, I was on my way back from a wedding in Batavia, NY (Attica!!! Attica!!!) when I was stricken from a large coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts. Though I tried as hard as I could to make it to the next rest area, the restroom gods were conspiring against me, because the rest area was closed for repairs, and the next one was 48 miles away. This brought back memories from camp of funny book titles like “20 yards to the Outhouse, by Willie Maykit”. But, I digress…
Prior to moving into our current office location, we were on a lower floor of our building, with the bathroom, for the entire floor’s use, right across the hall. I would often email a couple of my friends detailing the “crime scene” in there. I will spare you the description now, but let’s just say that the “Delta House” has nothing on this. I don’t know who was trashing the joint, but they left it in worse condition than my fraternity house bathrooms after an all you can eat "hot dog and bean casserole" night.
All these circumstances, the parking lot pisser and the guys leaving the bathroom downstairs like a barn, make me wonder-what is wrong with people, and where do these people come from? What about basic manners? When they leave their houses during the day, do they plan their bathroom antics? As for the parking lot reliever, I have really got to wonder about him. I work on a busy section of a main road, with restaurants and gas stations every 10 feet. Instead of pulling off the road and into our lot, he could have gone 50 feet straight ahead and into a gas station. Maybe he thinks its funny, and maybe he doesn’t mind being charged with a sex-crime (Open and Gross Lewdness), and maybe he won’t mind having to register as a sex offender after his conviction. Frankly, I am now more concerned about what I might step in down in the parking lot.
And what about washing his hands?
Apropos of nothing—I went to see “I Am Legend” last week, and the theatre was not crowded. Plenty of good seats available. I put our coats in an empty seat to my right. Some guy with a bad attitude towards his girlfriend sits in the seat next to the coats, and throughout the movie, as he finishes whatever he’s eating, he throws his trash onto my coat. At first, because the movie is dark, it was hard to see it. But as the lights go up, he and his girlfriend leave, and there’s a bag of half-eaten gummie bears, and a bag of popcorn sitting there, on my coat, along with some used napkins!!!
Again, can someone tell me what is wrong with people? Under what scenario is it ok to throw trash on someone else’s coat? At the movies, that’s what the floor is for!
While I am at it…what’s up with people going out in their pajamas? I was at Stop & Shop the other day, and some woman, maybe in her 40s, is walking around in pajama pants and a sweatshirt. By the way, on the pajama bottoms, on her ass, was the expression “Bee-Ach”—one syllable on each cheek. Yeah, no kidding. Nothing says “I don’t care about myself at all” like going out in pajamas. Sweats move over, there’s a new player in town.
You’ve been a great audience. And now, taking my breath away, the hardest working man in show business…Rex Smith!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The Year in Review...sort of
Happy New Year! In celebration of the New Year, as well as the 1-year anniversary of “The Critical Palate” (in actual, this “Critical Palate” has been around 42 years), I thought I would post a few thoughts about this past year. I am naming 2008 “The Year of the Palate!”
For the most part, television stinks. Apparently, the “Gong Show” has gone big time, but how many American Idol and its knock-offs can we take? While I like “AI”, I am not a fan of the derivatives; they might be better if they replaced the snarky British and the former hottie judges with Rex Reed and Jaye P. Morgan. (An aside, in an ironic coincidental twist of fate, Jaye P. Morgan was the sister-in law of Yvonne DeCarlo, one of my all time favorites! Not only fabulous as Lilly Munster, or award-winning in “Satan’s Cheerleaders”, but even better, and better looking, as Sephora in “The Ten Commandments”. As Steven Wright says: It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.)
Anyways, back to the post…I can’t stand these ugly stepchildren of television. So You Think You Can Dance, Don’t Forget the Lyrics, Battle of the Choirs, the Next Great Inventor…what’s next, “The Next Great Cure for Chlamydia”? I can hear the judges now: “Tetracycline, you’re an amateur and just can’t compete with Zythromax!”
We need to bring back good writing (a little tough while the WGA members are getting ripped off by the big studios.) There’s not much more of “Cory in the House” I can handle. Now that Studio 60, The Sopranos and Curb Your Enthusiasm are off the air, and House is on mid-winter hiatus, I’ve moved to the Travel Channel and Discovery to true “reality” television. Forget “Til Death”, now I’m getting the lowdown on Las Vegas cheaters and whether Ninjas can really walk across water, on Mythbusters. Now this is the best television on television.
Of course, there’s always “Zoey 101” with Jamie Lynne Spears! A role model for all girls…who live in trailers!
As for movies, I got to admit, some of Hollywood is still lost on me. I saw a bunch of stuff, and I think my best of the year is “No Country for Old Men”, but, “Norbit” is a close second. Having seen “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” this past week (mindless fun), I am looking forward to more sequels, like the 4th installment of Indiana Jones, where Harrison Ford is so old, its working title is “The Secrets of the Lost Package of Depends” and “Rambo: VA Hospital”.
This past year, we had some decent meals at The 111 Chop House in Worcester, Willy’s Steakhouse and Sushi in Shrewsbury, The Anchor Bar in Buffalo and The Keg in Niagara. Mostly, the year was filled with average meals for above-average prices, and frankly, no one meal stands out above any other. We enjoyed Muddy River Smokehouse in Portmouth, New Hampshire, and will be heading back in February for the beef ribs. Otherwise, Framingham and Natick has seen “more of the same” restaurants with the opening of “The Cheesecake Factory”, and a new, unfamiliar, cutting-edge restaurant concept, not yet seen in these parts…an Asian super buffet! Oooh, I’m all aquiver with excitement…
Many years ago, I was watching a commercial for “The Peoples’ Court”, and Judge Wapner says to a litigant “did you call him a ‘Doo Dah’?” I have to admit, it was pretty funny, but you got to wonder, what is a “doo dah”, because it has to be more than just the refrain to “Camptown Races”. Well, kind reader, look no further. Thanks to Ken Levine (see link at sidebar), please visit his site, or the following: http://www.pasadenadoodahparade.info/.
Apparently, it’s a group that runs a satirical, spoof of the Rose Bowl Parade. This is pretty funny. Watch out you parading Mummers…or Mumzers!
I’ve enjoyed writing this blog and because I’m here for you, I’ll keep it going. You’ve been a great audience. Now…my gift to you. Move over Emma Lazurus…
Images by Tyrone Greene ... Dark and lonely on the summer night. Kill my landlord, kill my landlord. Watchdog barking - Do he bite? Kill my landlord, kill my landlord. Slip in his window, Break his neck! Then his house I start to wreck! Got no reason -- What the heck! Kill my landlord, kill my landlord. C-I-L-L ... My land - lord ... Def!
For the most part, television stinks. Apparently, the “Gong Show” has gone big time, but how many American Idol and its knock-offs can we take? While I like “AI”, I am not a fan of the derivatives; they might be better if they replaced the snarky British and the former hottie judges with Rex Reed and Jaye P. Morgan. (An aside, in an ironic coincidental twist of fate, Jaye P. Morgan was the sister-in law of Yvonne DeCarlo, one of my all time favorites! Not only fabulous as Lilly Munster, or award-winning in “Satan’s Cheerleaders”, but even better, and better looking, as Sephora in “The Ten Commandments”. As Steven Wright says: It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.)
Anyways, back to the post…I can’t stand these ugly stepchildren of television. So You Think You Can Dance, Don’t Forget the Lyrics, Battle of the Choirs, the Next Great Inventor…what’s next, “The Next Great Cure for Chlamydia”? I can hear the judges now: “Tetracycline, you’re an amateur and just can’t compete with Zythromax!”
We need to bring back good writing (a little tough while the WGA members are getting ripped off by the big studios.) There’s not much more of “Cory in the House” I can handle. Now that Studio 60, The Sopranos and Curb Your Enthusiasm are off the air, and House is on mid-winter hiatus, I’ve moved to the Travel Channel and Discovery to true “reality” television. Forget “Til Death”, now I’m getting the lowdown on Las Vegas cheaters and whether Ninjas can really walk across water, on Mythbusters. Now this is the best television on television.
Of course, there’s always “Zoey 101” with Jamie Lynne Spears! A role model for all girls…who live in trailers!
As for movies, I got to admit, some of Hollywood is still lost on me. I saw a bunch of stuff, and I think my best of the year is “No Country for Old Men”, but, “Norbit” is a close second. Having seen “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” this past week (mindless fun), I am looking forward to more sequels, like the 4th installment of Indiana Jones, where Harrison Ford is so old, its working title is “The Secrets of the Lost Package of Depends” and “Rambo: VA Hospital”.
This past year, we had some decent meals at The 111 Chop House in Worcester, Willy’s Steakhouse and Sushi in Shrewsbury, The Anchor Bar in Buffalo and The Keg in Niagara. Mostly, the year was filled with average meals for above-average prices, and frankly, no one meal stands out above any other. We enjoyed Muddy River Smokehouse in Portmouth, New Hampshire, and will be heading back in February for the beef ribs. Otherwise, Framingham and Natick has seen “more of the same” restaurants with the opening of “The Cheesecake Factory”, and a new, unfamiliar, cutting-edge restaurant concept, not yet seen in these parts…an Asian super buffet! Oooh, I’m all aquiver with excitement…
Many years ago, I was watching a commercial for “The Peoples’ Court”, and Judge Wapner says to a litigant “did you call him a ‘Doo Dah’?” I have to admit, it was pretty funny, but you got to wonder, what is a “doo dah”, because it has to be more than just the refrain to “Camptown Races”. Well, kind reader, look no further. Thanks to Ken Levine (see link at sidebar), please visit his site, or the following: http://www.pasadenadoodahparade.info/.
Apparently, it’s a group that runs a satirical, spoof of the Rose Bowl Parade. This is pretty funny. Watch out you parading Mummers…or Mumzers!
I’ve enjoyed writing this blog and because I’m here for you, I’ll keep it going. You’ve been a great audience. Now…my gift to you. Move over Emma Lazurus…
Images by Tyrone Greene ... Dark and lonely on the summer night. Kill my landlord, kill my landlord. Watchdog barking - Do he bite? Kill my landlord, kill my landlord. Slip in his window, Break his neck! Then his house I start to wreck! Got no reason -- What the heck! Kill my landlord, kill my landlord. C-I-L-L ... My land - lord ... Def!
Friday, November 30, 2007
Food TeeVee
Not to be confused with Mike TeeVee (from the original "Willy Wonka"), I’m a big foodie, as anyone who sees me knows…not “Jabba The Hut” big, but a food fan for sure…
My peeps and I often talk about the shows on the Food Network. I don’t watch nearly as much TV as I used to, but I still tune into the Food Network now and then. I have my favorites, and the not so favorite, shows and hosts.
I know what I like, and I’m not afraid to tell you. While “Everyday Italian” has a couple of things I like (I’ll give you 36 guesses), I find the soft-focus (the old “Barbara Walters” trick) annoying, the food unapproachable, and that the host’s name (Giada) could be mistaken for a terrible stomach virus. Believe me, even if you put her in HD with a low-cut blouse, I still might not tune in, except for that cavatelle with shrimp and tasso ham.
Rachael Ray—formerly “Yum-Oh”, now bordering on “Yuk-Oh.” It looks like she’s getting paid in products from Dunkin’ Donuts. Don’t get me wrong, I like her, and find her bubbly effervescence fun, but now she’s everywhere…if she keeps eating, she’ll really be everywhere.
Emeril-I feel like I need to hire Robert DeNiro, playing Al Capone in “The Untouchables” and go “Bam!” By that I mean with a baseball bat across his mouth. (Breaking News-Emeril has been canned! Read about it here: http://www.nypost.com/seven/11272007/tv/bam__emeril_gone_858335.htm)
Paula Deen--the high-pitched cackle, the crazed trailer-park accent…she’s great if you want a recipe for chicken-fried pork chop smothered in cream gravy, a side of fried okra and another side of double-fried potatoes and a fried Twinkie for dessert. Stent please?!.
Alton Brown-love the dweeb with the glasses. What’s not to like?
Used to love the original “Iron Chef”, and I still like Masaharu Morimoto. “I just spoke to the Iron Chef. He said he’s never cooked with sea urchin vomit before, but is looking forward to it as the secret ingredient.”
Guy Fieri-Anyone who has a show on diners is ok in my book (my Dad is a former diner owner). But, enough with the street vernacular and whack expressions like “Dude, that’s money!” or “Dude, you’re in it to win it with that!” or “Dude, that’s off the hook!” Plus, he’s got more tattoos than the Illustrated Man. Dude, I really don’t want you touching my food.
Speaking of tattoos, it seems to me that there are only a few categories of shows on TV: CSI, food, tattooing, or rebuilding motorcycles or cars. I’m thinking we could at least combine a few of these and have Rachael and Giardia getting tattoos, or maybe “Pimp My Rachael”. You can skip the Paula Deen episode.
-----------------------------------------
I also watch some locally produced shows, but one to avoid, for me, is “Phantom Gourmet.” I cannot tell you how much I do not enjoy this show, but this past week really hammered it home for me. At least most weeks there are actual reviews, but this week, we got treated to “credit card roulette.”
For the unitiated, this version of roulette is where a half-dozen really wealthy, but equally obnoxious, people go to dinner at a really expensive restaurant. They all hand over a credit card with a high limit, and through the night, one by one, a credit card is removed so that the last credit card remaining picks up the tab. Yeah, this is riveting TV. Do I really care about which one gets stuck with the check? Do I really want to watch these people stuff their faces, along with their bloated egos? Why is this interesting? Hello, am I missing something?
By the way, if there was any doubt, we all know that this show and the Phantom are less than impartial. Firefly’s and Strega, among others, advertise heavily on this show, and one of the Andleman boys even has an appetizer named after himself on the Firefly’s menu. Now wait a minute, here’s a shocker…Firefly’s is highly rated by the Phantom. Can you believe it?! Who would have thought? This show is responsible for bringing mediocrity to your palate, and I for one, can see through it. That’s why I’m here for you…
Gratuitous shout-out: For all you ocular needs, see Dr. Hugh Cooper, adult and pediatric ophthalmologist to the stars…email me for his phone number.
You’ve been a great audience. Don’t forget to tip your waitress…enjoy 10cc (Does anyone else know the significance of the band’s name? You’ve got to just know this…)
My peeps and I often talk about the shows on the Food Network. I don’t watch nearly as much TV as I used to, but I still tune into the Food Network now and then. I have my favorites, and the not so favorite, shows and hosts.
I know what I like, and I’m not afraid to tell you. While “Everyday Italian” has a couple of things I like (I’ll give you 36 guesses), I find the soft-focus (the old “Barbara Walters” trick) annoying, the food unapproachable, and that the host’s name (Giada) could be mistaken for a terrible stomach virus. Believe me, even if you put her in HD with a low-cut blouse, I still might not tune in, except for that cavatelle with shrimp and tasso ham.
Rachael Ray—formerly “Yum-Oh”, now bordering on “Yuk-Oh.” It looks like she’s getting paid in products from Dunkin’ Donuts. Don’t get me wrong, I like her, and find her bubbly effervescence fun, but now she’s everywhere…if she keeps eating, she’ll really be everywhere.
Emeril-I feel like I need to hire Robert DeNiro, playing Al Capone in “The Untouchables” and go “Bam!” By that I mean with a baseball bat across his mouth. (Breaking News-Emeril has been canned! Read about it here: http://www.nypost.com/seven/11272007/tv/bam__emeril_gone_858335.htm)
Paula Deen--the high-pitched cackle, the crazed trailer-park accent…she’s great if you want a recipe for chicken-fried pork chop smothered in cream gravy, a side of fried okra and another side of double-fried potatoes and a fried Twinkie for dessert. Stent please?!.
Alton Brown-love the dweeb with the glasses. What’s not to like?
Used to love the original “Iron Chef”, and I still like Masaharu Morimoto. “I just spoke to the Iron Chef. He said he’s never cooked with sea urchin vomit before, but is looking forward to it as the secret ingredient.”
Guy Fieri-Anyone who has a show on diners is ok in my book (my Dad is a former diner owner). But, enough with the street vernacular and whack expressions like “Dude, that’s money!” or “Dude, you’re in it to win it with that!” or “Dude, that’s off the hook!” Plus, he’s got more tattoos than the Illustrated Man. Dude, I really don’t want you touching my food.
Speaking of tattoos, it seems to me that there are only a few categories of shows on TV: CSI, food, tattooing, or rebuilding motorcycles or cars. I’m thinking we could at least combine a few of these and have Rachael and Giardia getting tattoos, or maybe “Pimp My Rachael”. You can skip the Paula Deen episode.
-----------------------------------------
I also watch some locally produced shows, but one to avoid, for me, is “Phantom Gourmet.” I cannot tell you how much I do not enjoy this show, but this past week really hammered it home for me. At least most weeks there are actual reviews, but this week, we got treated to “credit card roulette.”
For the unitiated, this version of roulette is where a half-dozen really wealthy, but equally obnoxious, people go to dinner at a really expensive restaurant. They all hand over a credit card with a high limit, and through the night, one by one, a credit card is removed so that the last credit card remaining picks up the tab. Yeah, this is riveting TV. Do I really care about which one gets stuck with the check? Do I really want to watch these people stuff their faces, along with their bloated egos? Why is this interesting? Hello, am I missing something?
By the way, if there was any doubt, we all know that this show and the Phantom are less than impartial. Firefly’s and Strega, among others, advertise heavily on this show, and one of the Andleman boys even has an appetizer named after himself on the Firefly’s menu. Now wait a minute, here’s a shocker…Firefly’s is highly rated by the Phantom. Can you believe it?! Who would have thought? This show is responsible for bringing mediocrity to your palate, and I for one, can see through it. That’s why I’m here for you…
Gratuitous shout-out: For all you ocular needs, see Dr. Hugh Cooper, adult and pediatric ophthalmologist to the stars…email me for his phone number.
You’ve been a great audience. Don’t forget to tip your waitress…enjoy 10cc (Does anyone else know the significance of the band’s name? You’ve got to just know this…)
Death of The Daredevil
Today, we lost an American Icon--the original Legendary Daredevil, Evel Knievel.
Like every boy growing up in the ‘70s, I was mesmerized by the antics and attempts of Evel. From jumping over the double-decker busses in England to the greatest stunt attempt ever-the rocket-cycle jump over Snake River Canyon. Of course that failed, but the build-up, the hype, and then the broadcast on A.B.C.’s Wide World of Sports was all we talked about in 4th grade. I actually learned where Idaho was, just because of Snake River. He was cool...He was hip...He was America.
I remember being on vacation in Connecticut back in the early 70s, and my parents took us to a drive-in movie. It was a double feature: “The Evel Knievel Story” (starring George Hamilton) and “Macon County Line” (starring Max Baer, Jr.). I don’t remember much about “Macon County Line” (really, does anyone?), but I remember “Evel”.
I had the requisite apparel (t-shirt with a red, white a blue “Evel Knievel” logo) and the best toy ever-an Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle You mount it on a crank device, wind it up and reverse the crank to release the bike. That thing would take off, lose control, and crash into something, throwing the action figure off the bike-just like the real Evel!
Evel was larger than life. Little did we know as kids that he was a high-school dropout, a drinker and drug user, a womanizer and abuser. He practically killed a movie executive with an aluminum bat after the Snake River jump failure. But, mired in the depression of the early 70s, America needed a hero, and he was happy to oblige. Television’s mega-hit, “Happy Days” even used him as a basis for the Fonz jumping stuff with his bike. Of course, that episode lives forever with the expression “jumping the shark.” Well, Evel himself never jumped the shark, even with Hepatitis C! He will forever remain America’s Daredevil…warts and all. Evel is dead. Long live Evel!
Here's a sample of the greatness...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wsq3dWTrRWA
Like every boy growing up in the ‘70s, I was mesmerized by the antics and attempts of Evel. From jumping over the double-decker busses in England to the greatest stunt attempt ever-the rocket-cycle jump over Snake River Canyon. Of course that failed, but the build-up, the hype, and then the broadcast on A.B.C.’s Wide World of Sports was all we talked about in 4th grade. I actually learned where Idaho was, just because of Snake River. He was cool...He was hip...He was America.
I remember being on vacation in Connecticut back in the early 70s, and my parents took us to a drive-in movie. It was a double feature: “The Evel Knievel Story” (starring George Hamilton) and “Macon County Line” (starring Max Baer, Jr.). I don’t remember much about “Macon County Line” (really, does anyone?), but I remember “Evel”.
I had the requisite apparel (t-shirt with a red, white a blue “Evel Knievel” logo) and the best toy ever-an Evel Knievel Stunt Cycle You mount it on a crank device, wind it up and reverse the crank to release the bike. That thing would take off, lose control, and crash into something, throwing the action figure off the bike-just like the real Evel!
Evel was larger than life. Little did we know as kids that he was a high-school dropout, a drinker and drug user, a womanizer and abuser. He practically killed a movie executive with an aluminum bat after the Snake River jump failure. But, mired in the depression of the early 70s, America needed a hero, and he was happy to oblige. Television’s mega-hit, “Happy Days” even used him as a basis for the Fonz jumping stuff with his bike. Of course, that episode lives forever with the expression “jumping the shark.” Well, Evel himself never jumped the shark, even with Hepatitis C! He will forever remain America’s Daredevil…warts and all. Evel is dead. Long live Evel!
Here's a sample of the greatness...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wsq3dWTrRWA
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Thanksgiving Wishes
On this holiday, let me wish you all a happy and joyous Thanksgiving and time well-spent with family and friends.
Eric
Eric
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Butchers...of language
This has been a bug in my ass (and if you know me, that’s a big bug…) for a couple of weeks, and now having seen the following being advertised on television, I can’t hold back any longer.
A few weeks ago, I was at Quiznos (Mmmm, toasty!) getting a salad. I noticed they had an entirely new menu (really just new ways to feed you irradiated, pre-fab food) and I saw a sign for the “Sammies Special”. I ask the food wench working there “what’s the Sammies Special, who’s Sammie and why is he or she special?” After a question like this, she probably thinks I’m special.
She says I have a choice of “sammiches.” What???!!! What the (expletive deleted)???!!! “You know, a sammich”. Geez, last time I checked, the word was “sandwich.” It has an “n”, a “d”, and a “w” in it. By the way, no “m”. When speaking, I usually pronounce those consonants, don’t add ones that aren’t necessary, and don’t pronounce words like a troglodytic half-wit that just rolled out of the hills in Appalachia (and not the Appalachia of which Aaron Copeland composed wonderful themes). Quiznos could single-handedly be responsible for the dumbing down of America. Run a huge ad campaign, push your “Sammies” and turn us Lemmings into a bunch of illiterates. The Earl of Sammich must be rolling in his grave.
Speaking of Quiznos, it reminds me of the Cold Stone Reamery. Quiznos is trying to convince us that they have created a new, cutting-edge way of serving a sandwich—HOT! First of all, I bet you as soon as they discovered fire, the cavemen were toasting Woolly Mammoth over an open flame. I’ve always thought that mammoth tastes better a little cooked. “Nigiri mammoth” just doesn’t do it. I digress…Well, I’d like to say this to Mr. Quiznos (actually Rick Schaden): Famous Pizza in Pinefield was doing this from the dawn of time. Nothing like a large roast beef with everything and melted provolone from Famous. I haven’t been there in 20 years, but the memory of the beefy deliciousness is as strong as ever.
Why the comparison to Cold Stone Reamery? Like Quiznos, they march into a new market, claiming they’re offering something so new, so cutting edge, that people will flock to them. Reamer’s cutting-edge concept? Mixing toppings right into the ice cream while you watch. Pardon me, I need to stop yawning…GMFB! In the 70s, Steve’s was doing that, whether in Cambridge, Somerville, Fanuil Hall, or in outlets attached to D’Angelos (now featuring toasted subs) all across Massachusetts. Not just Steve’s, but Emack & Bolios, Bart’s in Amherst, or Herbie’s in Framingham. C’mon Cold Stone, do your market research. Know your audience--no one consumes more ice cream per capita than people that live in New England. We have high expectations, and you can’t meet them. Why “Reamery”? Next time, look at those prices. For the price of a small ice cream, the cow should come to my house, milk itself, churn the ice cream and feed it to me.
Random thoughts from a cluttered mind….
Since when did the accepted response to “thank you” become “not a problem”? I think “you’re welcome” is still the best way to respond. At the Outback a few weeks ago, when we thanked the waiter for anything-delivering the food, taking the order, bringing water, his response was “not a problem.” No kidding, jerkweed, if it was a problem for you to bring me water, there would be a real problem, for you. I have noticed more and more people using this expression as a response. To this I say “a problem.”
Rachel Ray-as a friend noted…getting a little wide in the beam and puffy-faced. Too much Dunkin’ Donuts maybe. Just as Tony Montana was warned by Frank Lopez: “Rachel, don’t get high on your own supply.”
Jason Bateman has come a long way from “Silver Spoons” I love “Arrested Development”, and he was superb in that. Played essentially the same character in “The Kingdom” which was not a comedy (unless you find mass murder and suicide bombing in Saudi Arabia funny), and he was great. The fact that he is married to Paul Anka’s daughter only elevates his stature in my mind. Paul Freaking Anka!!!! It could only be better if his father in law was Richard Carpenter.
I am half unhappy with the writers’ strike in Hollywood. This gives me a chance to catch up on “House”, but I miss new episodes of “Little People, Big World” and “Armed and Famous.”
Am I the only one that remembers “Larry’s Corner” or “Lord and Lady D&^%$bag” on SNL? Read here: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/79/79tdouchebag.phtml
Gratuitous shout-out: My father, for figuring out the acronym from last month. Decorum prevents me from saying anymore.
Famous Pizza: 508-877-0101
You’ve been a great audience. Enjoy Andy Kim…
A few weeks ago, I was at Quiznos (Mmmm, toasty!) getting a salad. I noticed they had an entirely new menu (really just new ways to feed you irradiated, pre-fab food) and I saw a sign for the “Sammies Special”. I ask the food wench working there “what’s the Sammies Special, who’s Sammie and why is he or she special?” After a question like this, she probably thinks I’m special.
She says I have a choice of “sammiches.” What???!!! What the (expletive deleted)???!!! “You know, a sammich”. Geez, last time I checked, the word was “sandwich.” It has an “n”, a “d”, and a “w” in it. By the way, no “m”. When speaking, I usually pronounce those consonants, don’t add ones that aren’t necessary, and don’t pronounce words like a troglodytic half-wit that just rolled out of the hills in Appalachia (and not the Appalachia of which Aaron Copeland composed wonderful themes). Quiznos could single-handedly be responsible for the dumbing down of America. Run a huge ad campaign, push your “Sammies” and turn us Lemmings into a bunch of illiterates. The Earl of Sammich must be rolling in his grave.
Speaking of Quiznos, it reminds me of the Cold Stone Reamery. Quiznos is trying to convince us that they have created a new, cutting-edge way of serving a sandwich—HOT! First of all, I bet you as soon as they discovered fire, the cavemen were toasting Woolly Mammoth over an open flame. I’ve always thought that mammoth tastes better a little cooked. “Nigiri mammoth” just doesn’t do it. I digress…Well, I’d like to say this to Mr. Quiznos (actually Rick Schaden): Famous Pizza in Pinefield was doing this from the dawn of time. Nothing like a large roast beef with everything and melted provolone from Famous. I haven’t been there in 20 years, but the memory of the beefy deliciousness is as strong as ever.
Why the comparison to Cold Stone Reamery? Like Quiznos, they march into a new market, claiming they’re offering something so new, so cutting edge, that people will flock to them. Reamer’s cutting-edge concept? Mixing toppings right into the ice cream while you watch. Pardon me, I need to stop yawning…GMFB! In the 70s, Steve’s was doing that, whether in Cambridge, Somerville, Fanuil Hall, or in outlets attached to D’Angelos (now featuring toasted subs) all across Massachusetts. Not just Steve’s, but Emack & Bolios, Bart’s in Amherst, or Herbie’s in Framingham. C’mon Cold Stone, do your market research. Know your audience--no one consumes more ice cream per capita than people that live in New England. We have high expectations, and you can’t meet them. Why “Reamery”? Next time, look at those prices. For the price of a small ice cream, the cow should come to my house, milk itself, churn the ice cream and feed it to me.
Random thoughts from a cluttered mind….
Since when did the accepted response to “thank you” become “not a problem”? I think “you’re welcome” is still the best way to respond. At the Outback a few weeks ago, when we thanked the waiter for anything-delivering the food, taking the order, bringing water, his response was “not a problem.” No kidding, jerkweed, if it was a problem for you to bring me water, there would be a real problem, for you. I have noticed more and more people using this expression as a response. To this I say “a problem.”
Rachel Ray-as a friend noted…getting a little wide in the beam and puffy-faced. Too much Dunkin’ Donuts maybe. Just as Tony Montana was warned by Frank Lopez: “Rachel, don’t get high on your own supply.”
Jason Bateman has come a long way from “Silver Spoons” I love “Arrested Development”, and he was superb in that. Played essentially the same character in “The Kingdom” which was not a comedy (unless you find mass murder and suicide bombing in Saudi Arabia funny), and he was great. The fact that he is married to Paul Anka’s daughter only elevates his stature in my mind. Paul Freaking Anka!!!! It could only be better if his father in law was Richard Carpenter.
I am half unhappy with the writers’ strike in Hollywood. This gives me a chance to catch up on “House”, but I miss new episodes of “Little People, Big World” and “Armed and Famous.”
Am I the only one that remembers “Larry’s Corner” or “Lord and Lady D&^%$bag” on SNL? Read here: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/79/79tdouchebag.phtml
Gratuitous shout-out: My father, for figuring out the acronym from last month. Decorum prevents me from saying anymore.
Famous Pizza: 508-877-0101
You’ve been a great audience. Enjoy Andy Kim…
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