Saturday, March 29, 2008

Like my fortune cookie says..."That Wasn't Chicken"

At the suggestion of several people, I actually went to, and dined at, P.F. Changs. A buddy of mine met me a couple of weeks ago (he is a frequent reader of the Critical Palate, and dragged me there kicking and screaming, or at least whining, convincing me to try it, because he hadn’t yet either. Ok, maybe I went there voluntarily...or suggested it). We ate there right before seeing “Avenue Q”-by the way, one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.

Here are my observations-Chinese food isn’t the same if the place is filled with noisy investment banker/wannabes in suits, served to you by non-Asians with mysterious accents, that you hear, let alone understand. I need it dark, with most of the noise from the kitchen being the cooks screaming at each other in Chinese.

I liked the sauces on the table, but didn’t like the non-Asian waiter mixing things together. I liked the appetizers (lettuce wraps) but not the soup (too thick, and probably made in a factory in New Jersey-at least it tasted like Bayonne). We liked the wok-charred beef and the Chang’s Spicy Chicken

The food was adequate, and such small portions! Besides the appetizers and soup, we ordered the two main courses, and put it all away, and walked away needing more. When the bill is over $60.00 for two people, you better walk away with a wheelbarrow of leftovers. We walked away needing more.

I would say it is passable Chinese food, as middle America imagined it could be, but not authentic. It was about as authentic Chinese as the Olive Garden is to Italian food. For authentic, I need an authentic staff, traditional food, and bathrooms that you wouldn’t let your dog use. At least the company was good.

To be fair and balanced, like Fox News…I will give a special shout-out to Willy’s Steakhouse and Sushi in Shrewsbury (say that five times fast). Besides the great company, I have never been disappointed with a meal there. The food is always well prepared, and the service is always prompt and professional. Most of the wait staff are older, and have been there a long time (at least over the past several years we’ve been dining there.) They have an extensive menu and plenty of things for Elayne to choose from. For a great meal, try Willy’s. Tell them the Critical Palate sent you.

Because you asked…

I am extremely underwhelmed with American Idol. They keep saying it’s “the best Top 12 ever”. Who’s making that statement? Helen Keller?

This crop is utterly awful. They all come with professional experience, and they are all “one trick ponies.”

Carly Smithson-not sure what she is or where she belongs, but it’s not on this stage. Sometimes she looks like a “blivit” (ten pounds of garbage in a five pound bag) and she looks like she should add more fiber to her diet.

Brooke White-Carole King, Carly Simon, Roberta Flack, Phoebe Snow…they all seem the same.

Seyesha-she’s got a “10 head”…because it’s bigger than a forehead.

The rest…David Cook (giant head and weird hair), Michael Johns (creepy-and holds the microphone like a porn star), David Archuletta (Kelly Clarkson stalker…and wannabe), Jason Castro (perhaps the dumbest contestant ever) , Kristy Lee Cook (perhaps the smartest since Hailey Scarnato) and Ramuielle (who exactly is her fan base? Even those pictures on the internet don’t make her interesting-just strange).

Can’t wait for Dolly Parton week.

You’ve been great. Now, for your entertainment pleasure…enjoy Roy Clark and Buck Owens!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Buddy: when your kids are a little older (say, away at college), you and Elayne HAVE to go to Hong Kong, to taste authentic Chinese food in a non-third world setting!!