So Much Time, So Little to Say

Thanks to you, subscribers to the Critical Palate, who have been clamoring for more posts. Yes, I know it’s been almost a month since my last post, but this one’s for both of you…

First, a special shout out to my friend, and charter subscriber, Carolyn. CS-you’re terrific! Adopting a baby girl from Asia… Holla-back to my cousins Jason and Kim too, adopting a baby girl from Central America! Righteous.

The owner of Starbucks has decided to phase out the breakfast sandwiches by the end of 2008. He says that it interferes with the fine aroma of the coffee and is affecting sales. I got to tell you, as a big Starbucks consumer, they don’t grind much coffee anymore, and with automatic machines, there’s no aroma from the espresso bar. The homeless guy that comes in every morning has quite an aroma though.

Writers’ strike…I’m a quandary. I like TV, but I got to admit, I don’t miss it that much. This past season wasn’t shaping up to be any good. The shows we started watching didn’t really grab us: Journeyman, Bionic Woman, Back to You. Back to You was passable, mostly because of Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton, and their great comic timing. Otherwise, I’m glad the networks are taking it on the chin, and hope the writers get what they deserve. For now, I’m good with my DVR, catching up on M*A*S*H, America’s Test Kitchen and “Pioneers of Television” on PBS. Having watched that series, I see the brilliance in David Letterman even more, as he seems to be a cross between Jack Paar, Jack Benny and Steve Alan. Now THIS is television.

Britney…I’ve gone from being disgusted to being mesmerized, now that we have a “death pool” at work—I got her dead by March 2009. She’s rapidly becoming this year’s Anna Nicole Smith, except without the giant breasts, though she is a huge boob! In reality, I’d prefer to have this watch on the mother of the year, Lynn Spears. Have the authorities thought about arresting her yet? Has anybody figured out how she got out of the trailer park? Between Britney and Jamie Lynn, she’s got to be real proud about the way she’s raised these kids! Someone told me they heard one of them say in an interview “You ever French Kiss? My Daddy says I’m the best!”

The sound you hear is no one watching the Grammys…and I don’t mean my mother.

Special Fan Contribution from “Anonymous”: Amy Winehouse winning Grammys for a song that disses getting help in rehab? What’s up with that? Are we now rewarding unhealthy behavior? If anyone needs rehab, baby, its her.

Survivor: Fans vs. Faves…This show jumped the shark when the girls stopped posing for Playboy. I haven’t watched the last two, and now they bring it back, with Johnny Fairplay (spoiler alert-he got tossed the first episode)? Jeff, wanna know what you’re playing for? An audience.

Most recent movie: “Rambo”. I have never seen a more violent movie, ever, and that’s just Sly’s plastic surgery. I am surprised that I didn’t leave the theatre with blood all over me. The most interesting part: Walking into the theatre and picking my seat, some teenagers said, “here come some hard core Rambo fans” (referring to me and my buddies), to which I respond “going old school.” Damn, I’m cool.

Speaking of Rocky…I’m not sure Hulk Hogan looked better or worse currently on American Gladiator or as Thunderlips in Rocky III-BTW, I hear that’s Britney’s new street name.

Apropos of nothing…I don’t need Oprah, Barbra Streisand or Chuck Norris telling me who to vote for. I’m waiting for Tom Laughlin and Delores Taylor to tell me what to do...

or maybe Lynn Spears.

I’ll be here all week. And now…enjoy Bob Welch.