You’re going to hate the way you look, I guarantee it! Part Two!

Read the prior post first…

The next day, I called Men’s Wearhouse to speak with Mike, but he wasn’t there. After waiting almost five minutes for the manager on duty to pick up the phone, I called corporate to leave a message for George Zimmer and his toupee. I got through to a helpful customer service rep, she got through to the store, and told me that they’re expecting me back, and that I can have the choice of returning the suits, having them adjust these suits again, or having them start over from scratch with new suits; despite my initial hesitance to keep these suits, I decided to give them a chance. To the customer service rep’s credit, she offered me a $50.00 gift card for the inconvenience, though she said “even though it’s not likely you’ll be shopping with us anymore.” At least she understood me.

So I brought the suits back last Friday (1/22/10). When I arrived, the woman working the floor immediately greeted me by name; apparently, there were well aware that I was coming. She asked me to explain hat happened, but I asked that she bring Mike out to hear it as well, so I would not have to repeat myself. As soon as Mike came out, I was pretty sure this wasn’t going to go as well as Karyn (from headquarters) thought it would.



Apparently, Mike had heard all he needed to hear from corporate, because he came over to me and asked me to put the suits on. I told him I wanted to explain why I was so upset, and he said that he just wanted to see how the suits fit (or didn’t, as the case may be). If there’s any one customer service blunder that really roasts my cookies, it’s an unwillingness to even listen to someone’s complaint. Nevertheless, I would not put the suits on until I shared with him my disgust about the my experience with HIS store. After expressing myself, and after having him try to quiet me down because there were other customers in the store whose alterations they had yet to screw up, I put the suits on. It was immediately apparent they didn’t fit right. Mike asked me “Len told you this suit looked good?” I told him that Len had, in fact, told me it looked great, even though I told him that the jacket was too small and uncomfortable, and the pants were cut for Manute Bol and I’m built more like Spud Webb.

Mike brought out the tailor, and we spent quite a bit of time reviewing exactly what was wrong and what I wanted. The tailor could not explain why the pants were too long, why he didn’t agree that they needed to be shortened a week earlier when I needed the other pants taken up, why the sleeves were different lengths, and why the jacket was cut to fit Tony Atlas, but you know me, I just want to focus on the positive and get this done. I also tried on the second suit, and once again, it was immediately apparent that my sleeves were substantially different length, but oddly, this jacket wasn’t as sculpted as the other.

Mike told me they would have it ready within a couple of hours, but I just couldn’t be bothered to waste more time there that same day. I told them to take their time (and maybe do it right) and I would come back the following week sometime. Fast forward to a week later…this past Friday, January 29, 2010.

I arrive around 1:30pm, and the place is deserted, other than the few employees. I walk in and Mike sees me and grabs the suits. He has me put them on, we review what was done and how it fits, and 20 minutes later, he says “well, things seem to be all set; hopefully you’re satisfied.” I said “I’ll be satisfied when you reimburse me for the alterations, like I said last week.” He says “Oh yeah, let’s go up front to the register”.

So we get to the register, and he calls my transaction up on the computer. He begins making notes on a piece of paper, adding some things up, then turns to me and says “let me ask you this-would you agree that we did some alteration, like the back or neck of the jackets, that didn’t have any problems?” So now I can smell this a mile away, and it stinks. I say immediately “Do I agree that there were some alterations that didn’t need adjusting, yes. Do I agree that I should pay for any alterations? Absolutely not, like I said last week.” So he says “no, I think just reimbursing you for the things we had to fix again is enough.” I ask “what about all the wasted time, aggravation, and embarrassment?” He says “no, it’s $100.00, and that’s good enough.” Of course, my response was “not for me. As requested by corporate, I’ll be following up with them. If you don’t to give me the additional costs, that’s fine, but I’ll report it to corporate and they’ll pay it and take it up with you.” His response-“that’s fine. Here you go…” and he hands me the refund slip for the $100.00. I take my suits and walk out without saying another word, and he walked away without saying anything either. Really nice.

When I got back to the office, I called corporate to express my dissatisfaction with the resolution. Karyn was apologetic, and of course, is sending me check for the balance. While I think corporate handled this matter appropriately, that cooperative spirit has not trickled down to the retail stores.

As I expressed to Karyn, it has nothing to do with the balance, and everything to do with feeling that your business is valued, and if there is a problem, the company will do what they can to keep you as a customer. It became apparent to me, from the day I brought the suits back, that I was an annoyance to the store and manager, who didn’t even want to bother to listen to me. I was an angry customer who had been sold a bill of goods, but had now “come off the ledge” because corporate offered to make it right for me. When the suits fit on Friday, I felt a little better and perhaps had confidence that MW would follow-through and make things right. That feeling was immediately thwarted when Mike decided that savings face with his tailor by not reimbursing me the extra few dollars was more important than making a customer feel that his three visits to the store and all the time dealing with this problem wasn’t a waste of time. Maybe he even had a chance for me to come back and use the credits given to me by corporate and maybe he could have told his staff and corporate of his success in turning a bad situation into something positive-he could have used me as a training tool to his advantage with his staff. Did this happen? No, instead he chose to draw a line in the sand, knowing full well that I would cross it by calling corporate and forcing the issue with them. He must have realized that this would be reported downstream from them to him, and perhaps he just doesn’t care. That’s sad.

I have copied Karyn at MW headquarters pretty much on the content of this blog, which she requested I do. She told me that she will forward this to a variety of parties, including the Regional Manager, whom she will encourage to share with Mike and talk about proper raining and customer service.



In conclusion, I suggest you stay away from MW, especially the one in Framingham near Jordan’s Furniture. Milton’s has been the favored local player for years, and rightfully so. The corporate mentality, and store manager’s affect is good reason to never darken the doorstep of MW again. If you shop there, they’ll treat you poorly, I guaranty it!

You’re going to hate the way you look, I guarantee it!

“Everyone makes mistakes oh yes, they do. Your sister and your brother, and your dad and mother too. Big people, small people, matter of fact, all people, everyone makes mistakes oh yes they do…”

With that catchy little tune from Sesame Street in the late 1960s, I bring the “critical” back to the Palate. Let me tell you a story…

For years, I have been very particular about where I buy my suits. I have always defaulted to “Milton’s” in Chestnut Hill, and I have never, ever, been disappointed in the quality of the suit or the quality of the alterations. In fact, I got my bar mitzvah suit there 31 years ago, and last year, we brought the Junior Palate there to get his bar mitzvah suit as well. I can tell you that JP (Junior Palate) is very particular about his clothes (I have no idea where he gets that from), and we only needed less than 10 minutes to find a great bar mitzvah suit for him, with the help of a great salesman.

It was my error then when I let him convince me on New Year’s Day to take him to “Men’s Wearhouse” (hereinafter “MW”)to get a couple of new shirts. I always prefer to go to Milton’s, even though it is about 20 minutes from home, as opposed to anywhere else. But, we have friends who shop at MW and we decided to give it a chance. I had previously purchased a suit from MW in 1997, from their Solomon Pond Mall location. While the suit was actually quite nice, I did not like the saleswoman, who kept calling me at home trying to get me to come in for their next sale, or a new shirt, or their spring tie collection…etc. David Letterman hasn’t had stalkers like this.

In reality, his shopping experience there was fine. The store manager (“Mike”) waited on him, measured him up, and 10 minutes later, we were out of there. Mrs. Palate really liked the shirts and the material, so I thought about going back and seeing what they had for men’s suits, since they were having a buy one, get another for $100 sale. Being someone that has a frequent need for a suit, I figured “why not?”.

I should note here that I am pretty cautious about making any purchase; I analyze and over-analyze the decision until I convince myself it was the right thing to do. I wondered if I was being a traitor to Milton’s, but how could I resist the come-on from George Zimmer and his toupee.

Even though I saw Mike when I returned, he was busy with another customer, and I was “helped” (read “sold a bill of goods”) by “Len”. Len was clearly a guy just burning time while on retirement from his original career, but he certainly had strong opinions about clothes. Since this was a “buy one get one” promotion, I picked out two suits and tried them on. This is where the fun began.

I cannot quite detail the level of frustration I feel when I have to repeat myself, repeat myself, repeat myself. I must have told the tailor at least 3 or 4 times that I like the sleeves of my jackets a little longer. I talk with my hands quite a bit, especially in Court, when I’m pointing at exhibits, and I don’t like it when a lot of sleeve comes out. I also stressed that due to my physique (designed by the finest Chinese chefs and sandwich makers) I like my jacket a little less tailored and more boxy. I repeated this several times while the tailor kept marking up the back of my jacket with that mysterious white chalk. She assured me that they would shape it “just a little” but I kept stressing that I didn’t like it pulled in on the sides. I also told them that I wanted the pants cuffed at the bottom and really didn’t want them coming to the back/bottom of my heel. After $136.00 in alterations, I assumed I’d be ready to go.


A week later, I returned to pick up the suits. I tried the first one on, and immediately I realized that I look like Toulouse-Lautrec; the pants were unusually long. I point this out to Len, and he tells me that they look fine and that this is the current style. I again say that they look too long and ask if they could be taken up, and he tells me “wait until you’ve worn it and you’ll see how they look when you’re out and about.” I also put the jacket on, and the sleeves were too short and the jacket is pulled in on the sides, making it very form fitting (and believe me, my form doesn’t like to be fit). I tell Len that I do not like it at all, and he tells me how great it looks and that people will really like the suit on me. He tells me that sometimes it’s not bad to go away from your comfort zone, and contrary to my normal affect, I let him sell me that line of crap.

When I put the second suit on, the pants were also too long, but this time he agrees with me and has the tailor come out and fix them. I asked why this one and not the other, and he tells me it’s the way the material hangs; the second suit was a heavier material and looked different. Whatever…

Though I am not vain (despite what Carly Simon sang about me), there is something about wearing a new suit for the first time that makes you feel better about yourself. I had a new matching shirt and tie combination, so I was ready to go when I put the first suit on the next morning for a bat mitzvah. Of course, I was immediately deflated when Mrs. Palate said “Is that one of the new suits? It’s too small”. Ouch! So now, it’s too late to change, and we go to the event we me all self-conscious about this suit. It certainly didn’t get any better, when I good friend said to me, after I made a presentation to the bat mitzvah child “Is that a new suit? Your tailor messed that up. The pants are too long and the sleeves aren’t just too short, they’re different lengths, and the jacket is too fitted. Bring that back.” I assure you by now, I am “fit” to be tied.

The next day, we had the party to attend, so I wore the second suit. No sooner had I arrived than someone else said to me “those sleeves are too short, and different lengths. What’s up with that?” Great, now I have two suits that make me look like abnormally long arms and 24 inch legs. I assure you, I spent the rest of that day particularly unhappy.

Tune in tomorrow for what I did about it! Hint-I didn’t stretch my legs or shorten my arms.

Much ado about deli...

Without further ado (or much ado about nothing…), let’s review some of the highs, and lows, of the local deli delights…



Filling the bill (and the belly) of my traditional deli experiences would be Rein’s in Vernon, CT, Zaftig’s in Brookline and the S & S Restaurant in Inman Square in Cambridge. Kugel’s in Framingham is a close, but not quite, wannabe, and Joan & Ed’s is like a “Stepford” deli-has some fake essence of the real thing, but not quite real at all.

Let’s discuss.

As I have said in prior posts, my delis need to have big sandwiches, great pickles, traditional “Jewish-style” delicacies (in other words, some foods normal people wouldn’t be caught dead eating, although many of these food will kill you) and some sweaty guy in the back cutting some smoked meat. Great delis will be very popular, and engender a dedicated following. Honestly, there aren’t that many here to choose from, but here goes…from the bottom:

Joan and Ed’s Deli, Natick, MA-I gotta admit, like a dog whistle, this is lost on me. I have never enjoyed one thing I’ve eaten there. I find it passable, but their location (at the former Shopper’s World in Framingham) went from bad to worse when they moved across to the strip plaza at Sherwood Plaza. While they have a deli case up front for take out and “per pound” deli, there is something not quite right about it. I find the affect of the staff to be off-putting, and their prices surprisingly high for food whose quality is somewhat questionable. I know they have followers, but I’m not one, though they do a big “shiva” business. On a positive note, they give you the requisite half-sour pickles and a small container of cole slaw at the time of seating. Just don’t dare ask for more…




Kugels, Framingham, MA-Kugels has been a favored breakfast place among the locals and older crowd. They have switched owners a few times, but the menu seems to stay the same. They have the usual standards, both for breakfast and lunch. I have to admit I do like a good breakfast, and the few times I’ve eaten there, it’s been good enough. Problematically, it’s very small, and in an obscure location (in Trolley Square in Framingham Center). The tables are squeezed together tightly, and I could smell the guy at the next table better than I could smell my food. Though the menu says “deli”, the environment is more “sandwich shop”. That being said, I went for lunch yesterday and had a hot brisket sandwich, with extra gravy on the side for dipping. Though the brisket was sliced thinner than I’d like, it was tasty. My dining companion Sterling got a fresh-roasted turkey sandwich, which was too large for her to finish, but was fresh and tasty as well. Kugels is about half way to being a deli. The menu is right, but not the location or décor.



S & S Restaurant, Cambridge, MA-The S & S is pretty close to what people imagine for a deli, except without the hanging meat, guys with filthy aprons, or cutesy deli décor. It’s a big floor plan, with multiple rooms, and really long lines. You can always tell a popular deli by people’s willingness to wait for the food-I am usually unwilling. I admit that I was only there for a breakfast on a Sunday morning, but it was packed with all sorts of people ordering all the classic deli breakfasts…smoked fish, bagels, eggs. The lunch menu looks huge, with all the standards…if you’re in Cambridge, this could be a place to eat.

Rein’s Deli, Vernon, CT-I always think that you have to beware of places that are so well known. If you have ever driven I-84 from Boston to NY, you know that passing through the Nutmeg State (is that the best CT could do?) means passing Rein’s in Vernon, CT. I admit that not only did I pass it, I did so with glee, not being pulled in by its siren song of smoked meats. I remember going there once when I was a kid, and my parents being shocked at the prices. Now as an adult, I passed it for years, never having the desire to stop. That changed about a year ago, when I was convinced by some traveling companions to pull in for a sandwich.

Rein’s touts itself as a New York style deli. It’s at the end of a strip plaza, and when you walk in, there is usually a huge line, but in true NY fashion, the wait staff hurries you out and pushes people through. Though the lines are long, the wait is not, but be forewarned, you’ll be shown the door as soon as your plate is cleared.

Rein’s menu is typical deli, but they have the décor and good to back it up. I think on my most recent trip there, they may have switched to all Hebrew National meats, except the smoked ham, of course. Their menu is huge, and you can get sandwiches in two sizes. I like a good Reuben and Rachel (cole slaw instead of sour kraut), and Rein’s makes a pretty decent one. Their fries, as touted by my friend Judy, are really good, and since Rein’s is on the direct route between Boston and NY City, you’re bound to see someone you know. The Fung Wah bus won’t be stopping here, but probably a day trip from Hebrew Senior Life.

Zaftig’s, Brookline, MA-this is an updated version of an old-fashioned deli. The menu is replete with the usual suspects…the knishes, the kishke, the kugel…but filled with so much more. They serve breakfast anytime (better than Bickford’s), and along with the basic omelets, they have some funky offerings such as a Mackintosh Apple and Vermont Cheddar omelet. I had a corned beef Rachel (light rye, corned beef, cole slaw and Russian dressing, no cheese, toasted). The ambiance is right on, the menu covers all the bases, and then some, and the food is good. Your daddy’s deli, this ain’t, and I like it. Apparently I like my delis like my women and Zaftig’s in Brookline was the best of the bunch.

Honorable mention has to go to the best sandwich shop hoping to be a deli-Sam LaGrassa’s in the Downtown Crossing area of Boston. I saw LaGrassa’s on “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” on the Food Network, and met up with charter subscriber Ben there for lunch this past week. LaGrassa’s is a small place with some individual and communal tables. The have a huge sandwich menu, and everything is made right out in the open. The table of steamed smoked meats and cold cuts looks good, and they have prompt and efficient service. Ben and I got the same thing-the pastrami/corned beef combo with Russian dressing and cole slaw. A non-toasted Rachel, with double the fat content. Quite delicious, though I didn’t feel that well after eating. I wonder if it was my body’s way of saying “enough is enough”.




LaGrassa’s had some nice sandwiches, and the stuff other people were eating also looked good, but without the traditional deli items, it isn’t really a deli. I would give it a strong recommendation for a sandwich shop, but for a “deli”, not so much.

While I have enjoyed this trip around the knish for you, I think I need to follow my mother, and doctor’s advice-next food quest, salads!!!

Deli Dearth

As I waddle from deli to deli, I’ve come to the realization that you ask five people where to find a good deli, and you get 10 opinions, and those opinions won’t even agree on what makes a deli. Having been to many places, I have particular images that are conjourned when I hear the word deli.

About 15 years ago, a colleague invited me to meet him for lunch; he said that he had just discovered a new “deli” in my town, and wanted to grab a sandwich; he told me he’d pick me up in 10 minutes. I hop in the car, and he tells me it’s up the street. I have lived in the MetroWest my whole life, pretty much, and I know every place, and I hadn’t sniffed out a new deli, especially one right on Route 30 in Framingham, but I’ll play along. So he drives us over to the Lechmere Mall, and takes me to “Makkas Pizza”. I said to him “Dude, this is a pizza joint.” He says “yeah, but they have good sandwiches.” Well, that ain’t no deli.

That incident always reminds me how we all have different views of things. To my friend, who hails from the south, any sandwich shop I guess qualifies as a deli. I suppose he would think that “Subway” or “D’Angelo’s” qualifies. I suppose some people think a deli is any place that can produce deli-meat sandwiches, in which case “Store 24” or your local Shell Gas Mart qualify. Now that’s good eatin’.

As an aside, this is not to say that you can’t buy good deli meat at a deli counter in a market. I am particularly fond of the hot pastrami (out of a steam table) at The Crown Market in West Hartford, CT or the corned beef at Larry Levine’s in Peabody, MA (in addition to the corned beef, they sell the most sublime Hebrew National Natural Casing Hot Dogs…).

As I said in an earlier post: “One thing that I have observed over the years is the differing ideas of what really make a “deli”. To me, with my heritage, I expect a massive menu of over-stuffed sandwiches, as well as other traditional sides (such as knishes, kasha, and kishke). The ambiance is completed by pickles in jars, salamis and other netted meats hanging from the ceiling, and sweaty old men in filthy, formerly white aprons, cutting the meat and swearing under their breath in Yiddish.” Mostly, it means feeling a little guilty you’ve eaten some of this stuff, and knowing you shouldn’t be doing this on an every day basis.

I have discovered that there is a dearth of delis in the Metro Boston area…even Boston itself doesn’t have that many. In addition to the few I’ve already posted about, I have eaten at six others. As my arteries clear, I have begun my reviews. In tomorrow and Saturday’s posts, in anticipation of my appearance on WBZ 1030AM Saturday night at midnight on the “Jordan Rich Show”, I will share my thoughts with you on the local deli scene, as well as my favorite.

For now, enjoy some stuffed derma…it’ll get you right in the “kishkes”…

No Oasis...

I thought I’d kick off the details of the deli quest by describing our experience at the “Deli Kasbah”. It’s been several months since I “enjoyed” this experience, but some things just stick with you for a while, including the meal itself.

I note from their website that they are now known as just “Kasbah”-this is probably just as well, because it was less a deli and more a full-serve restaurant. And by “full-serve”, I mean that our waiter was as warm as Mickey Goldmill or Clint Eastwood in “Gran Torino”.

This could have been one of the stranger dining experiences ever. First, the place is located in a basement at 251 WEST 85th Street NY, NY-to get there, you go down two steps, physically, and socially. Second, they have flat panel TVs all around the restaurant. In your normal place, they’d be showing a football or baseball game. At the Deli Kasbah, where the owners apparently belong to the Chabad movement, they are showing propaganda films of the Lubavitcher Rabbi lecturing throngs of people about the coming of the Messiah. You can only imagine the scene; this film was just like the ones you see from Germany in the 30s, except there’s the late Rabbi pounding his fist on a podium. The sound was turned down, but I could only imagine him yelling “you, eating the corned beef…what’s the matter with you? Why haven’t you called your mother? Wear a sweater, it’s cold out. Where’s your hat? Try the chicken soup…Donate money...” It was very disconcerting.



The food was ok, but if you check the menu, you can see it’s more regular meals than deli. I did get pastrami, which was better than average, but not great. Other people got a Middle Eastern plate with hummus and a variety of meat dishes.



In addition to the usual deli sandwiches, they have some uniquely named meals. There’s “Yoseph’s Dream Steak” where apparently, instead of interpreting dreams about the baker and butler, he’s dreaming about a “Tender center cut rib eye steak, sliced and marinated by our chef in a red wine and mushroom sauce "Joey's Special" Eric says-that’s great, as long as “Joey” doesn’t mean “baby kangaroo”. There’s also “King Moshiach’s Rib Steak”, described as “a 22 oz. rib steak with a HUGE bone, served with red wine sauce” (emphasis theirs). The bone is so HUGE, it’s really 4 ounces of meat and 18 ounces of bone, for a mere $44.95. For that price, the Rebbe should cut it up and serve it to you.



The food was fine, but this was not a particularly good example of a NY deli. Next…

Breaking Bread

A brief break from injecting corned beef pickling into my veins. I’d love to hear from some of you about what makes a shop a “deli”. How do you define deli? I want to make I hit a broad cross-section for the consuming public…so bring it on.

The Trouble with Burritos...

They are out there…and we are about to be taken over-overrun in fact. I’m not talking about aliens…I’m talking about burrito joints. Let’s take a brief break from Deli December and talk about the proliferation of burrito joints. I am puzzled why over the past 3 years these places seem to be popping up with more frequency than “Tribbles”. The burrito places are the rabbits of the food chain.

White City Plaza in Shrewsbury is a good place to start. Essentially, you can stand in the center island on Route 9 and see Chipotle, Q-Doba and Moe’s, all of which make their money from the now-ubiquitous burrito. Throw in a Boloco and Baja Fresh, and it’s the Holy Quintet of burritos…



As I have written in the past, in the Metrowest, within a quarter mile of each other, Chipotle and Boloco battle for wrapped tortilla supremacy. I now lean towards Chipotle because I think the fewer number of menu items the fewer opportunities for screw-ups. But despite my preferences, I wonder every time I pass on of these places…why? Why now, why here? Have we learned nothing from Dr. Atkins and reducing our consumption of “white” carbs? How healthy is a flour tortilla stuffed with rice and beans and some meat? Despite containing a full “recommended daily allowance” of carbohydrates, it hasn’t stopped people consuming these football-sized meals. Moe’s features the “Homewrecker” a/k/a the “Toiletwrecker”. Even with such an appetizing name, people keep coming back for more.



In the future, I’ll be reviewing these in more depth. But someone please, share with me the marketing strategy that makes the Metro-Boston area so primed for burritos.