And now...your American Idol Top Twelve Boys...

Back by popular demand…my American Idol reviews.

It’s 60s night!!! Righteous. Brings me back to college in Amherst, listening to WDRC, “Big D 103, 102.9 on your FM dial” out of Hartford. Playing the hits of your youth. But now that American Idol begins…it sounds more like static as I go through the Berkshires.

As always, we hear things much differently than the judges.

Danny Hernandez…Josh says no big loss.

Chickeezee..Jacuzzi…MacandCheese…give me a break. Could be a cross between Luther Vandros and Johnny Mathis. Trying too hard to take on Simon right off. Simon’s right, he wasn’t very good.

David Cook: “So Happy Together”…I hope he’ll be happy being together with his family at home. This could be his ticket home.

Jason Yeager: He must have been 16 when he sired that kid. “Moon River”??? Andy Williams is rolling over in his grave. Oh, that’s right…he’s not dead, but after this, he might want to be. Love Johnny Mercer tunes though, and with music by Henry Mancini, you can’t go wrong…unless you sing it like this.

Robbie Carrico: “One”—he’ll be lonely, on the plane ride home. Toured with Britney Spears? Knowing her, he probably did more that “tour.” No “Three Dog Nights” for him.

I agree with Simon-this guy might be a “poser”.

As an aside, this year seems to be the year of the semi-professional. Where in the past you might have had one or two semi-pros, this year, it seems almost all of them have semi-professional experience.

David Archuleta: 17 years old. I really don’t want to like this kid. But I can’t help myself. I cannot stand Smokey Robinson, but this kid worked it out. Like him. Paula will love his cuteness…He is no “Chicken Little”.

Danny Noriega: Should it be “Danni”? He’s a “2 face”; very puzzling. I’m with Simon: what the hell is Paula saying?

Actually, I think he’s lip-synching. Seriously. He was walking down stairs while sinking, and there wasn’t even a deviation in his tone. He just ain’t good enough to pull that off.

Luke Menard: Love Harry Nilson!!!!!! Unfortunately, for all viewers, this isn’t him. Paula just can’t spit out English.

Colton Berry/Ellen DeGeneres: Also, separated at birth from Boris Becker.
Much better Elvis song than Jailhouse Rock. “Ellen does Elvis!”
OMG! His father looks like Robert DeNiro; he was giving Simon the “You talkin’ to me” look.

Leif Garrett Haley: Weird looking. Second career brewing in the next “Nightmare on Elm Street” movie. Geez, Simon and I are kindred spirits…

Oddly, he dresses like he’s from “Children of the Corn” but he’s singing a love ballad. Makes sense, if he’s Slingblade.

I like Neil Sedaka. Goes along with my thing for Carole King and Brill Building music. Saw Sedaka a few years ago, and he hasn’t lost a thing. Can’t say the same for Leif. Not sure he ever had it, and there’s an apparent reason they hadn’t focused on him in the preliminaries.

Jason Castro: WTF!!!??? Dreadlocks! That’s a look I need to adopt. With that hair he looks like some alien from Star Wars.

Surprisingly good. The Lovin’ Spoonfuls makes comeback. Like the “clap.”

Michael Johns: I didn’t like that audition with “Bohemian Rhapsody”. The guy looks like Jim Morrison a little. Too bad he doesn’t sound like him at all. This was a very poor audition from a guy who showed promise. Randy’s deaf, Paula’s blind…and I have to disagree with my brother Simon. This one didn’t do it for me.