Tuesday, July 29, 2008

They’ve got Panache’

There is a major crisis here in the MetroWest. A crisis of epic proportions, of a magnitude that has never been experienced here before. The Great Chicago Fire…The Great Molasses Flood…Meryl Streep, the most overrated actress in Hollywood, nominated 14 times for an Oscar…none of that arises to the seismic shift in the balance of MetroWest universe.

My Starbucks is closed.

For two weeks.

I need time to recover from the shock of it all.

So this morning, we (me, and my people-yes, I have people) went to a new, locally owned coffee shop called “Panache”. Is it a compliment or an insult when one of my peeps asked, “is this a chain?” We call this, the “complisult”.

I guess that’s the real question: chain, or not.

I asked if they were a chain, and he told me that it was a local, one location shop. It was very clean, with professional decorating. Some nice pictures on the wall, and a mix of nice furniture and standard Starbucks’ issued wooden chairs and tables. The coffee tasted fine, and the nice touch…when I came back a second time, the “barista” (if they use the term here) remembered me and only charged me the refill price for my iced coffee. By the way, Panache’ only serves two sizes, “regular” and “large”. For you people who don’t like the fake Italian words like “venti”, Panache’ might be your place.

While I didn’t LOVE it, it might be a decent two-week placeholder while my home away from home rebuilds and reconfigures. I did try another Starbucks yesterday, but it felt like a Stepford Starbucks…the vibe was all wrong. Not all Starbucks are created equal, which is odd, because chains rely on the inherent similarity in all of its outlets. This may be a problem for Starbucks. A house divided cannot stand...

I thought Howard Shultz might have called me to get permission to close for ten days. When they re-open, I better have a seat with my name on it! Otherwise, maybe I’ll have to go to Dunkin’ Donuts.

You've been great. Enjoy The Commodores.

Calling all "Palateers..."

Someone asked me how many readers I have, and you know what? I have no idea!!!

So, I am wondering if you would indulge me, and if you're a reader of this blog, send an email to:

EjwEsq@gmail.com

and let me know you're reading, and how you stumbled upon this blog.

Thanks.

Eric
Chief Critic

Lassie, come home...

Sometimes a restaurant surprises you in way you can never imagine, and so too, the Critical Palate. Last Saturday, kind readers, we went to “The Elephant Walk” in Cambridge (Massachusetts) with some friends, which features “French-Cambodian” cuisine. This is probably different from “French-Asian” or “Frasian”, and I tell you, I don’t think there was one of us who weren’t nervous. Not so much that the Khmer Rouge was going to take over the place, but with dishes with names like “Trey Tuk Peng Pah” (one of the easier ones to spell…and say), I’m surprised the bill didn’t say “that wasn’t chicken” or “hope you enjoyed Lassie”. Pleasantly, no such surprises were sprung upon us.

Without a doubt, I am glad we went, and had an excellent meal. In fact, we give it eight thumbs up (because 8 of us went, not because I’m an octopus). All of us had some sort of starter (I had an excellent chicken soup-“B’baw Mouan”-a hearty rice soup with chicken breast, cilantro, scallion, bean sprouts, fried garlic and lime) and “Loc Lac”, which contrary to you Scottish readers, is not “Lake Milk” but caramelized peppered beef. Every dish on the table was presented nicely, and by all accounts, tasted just as it looked.

One criticism, because this isn’t the “Critical Palate” for nothing, was the waitress. She was aloof, and hence, annoying. In the middle of talking our order, she left to bag some leftovers for a different table, and bring drinks to another. Then she came back and finished taking our order without so much as a weak apology. She just seemed a little disconnected, which appeared to be her affect. Other than the fear that the food might have previously contained the essence of “Milkbone”, it was a great meal with equally enjoyable company.

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Ode to a Dog…

No, I’m not referring to Winston the Wonder Dog…I am referring to everyone’s favorite dog…the Hot Dog!

I am a big, BIG fan of the hot dog. Let me say right out…only Kosher dogs! The last thing I want to eat is rat hair and pork “by-product”. What part of the pig is the “by-product” anyways?

Years ago, my in-laws introduced me to “Best Kosher”, formerly available at B.J.’s Wholesale Club. Over the years, I’ve grown fond of “Shofar” brand, and of course, number one in your hearts and in your stomachs…Hebrew National. I’ve tried others along my journey to hot dog Nirvana, and though the Heeb National dogs available in your local supermarket pale in comparison, about a year ago, I discovered the King of the Hot Dog Hill, so to speak—Hebrew National, deli-style, natural casing hot dogs. People, you have no idea what you’re missing!!! These dogs have completed my “gastronomical” life.

Admittedly, kids and some other weak-minded souls may not like the “natural casing”, because we all know where that comes from. Also, whereas a normal dog has a soft feel when you bite it, when you bite into a natural casing dog, it practically bites back. A real snap. While it probably sounds questionable, I assure you, is quite delicious. Then again, we’re people that eat “kishke”. Google that!

Last summer, I bought 72 of these bad boys from my kosher butcher. Right now, after several refill orders, I have about 48 in my freezer, vacuum packed (and hermetically sealed) for my pleasure. An orgiastic feast for the senses…


Back by popular demand…The Gratuitous Shout-Out:

Next time you’re in the mood for a dog, call Larry Levine's Kosher Meats and Deli. 474 Lowell Street, Peabody, MA, 01960. Tel: 617-884-1406-speak with Todd. Tell him I sent you.

You’ve been a great audience…enjoy the magical feats of Kobayashi!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Trailer for sale or rent...

A disturbing trend, especially in today’s economy, is the apparent decision by many restaurants, even the mid-level ones, to raise their prices, turning what used to be an average mid-week meal into the equivalent of a big Saturday night out. More disturbing is 1) portions are getting smaller, and 2) the food is just as mediocre as it was when it was cheaper.

Recently, I went to Firefly’s with some friends, though I am generally ambivalent about their food and their menu. It is kid-friendly, and noisy, which is good for the people sitting near us. Perusing their menu, my choices are moderately limited, since we don’t eat pork products. I usually default to one of 3 things: beef ribs, a hamburger or steak tips (I’m a big fan of chicken apparently…). I would have ordered the beef ribs, but the last couple of times I’ve had them there, they have been poorly prepared (very fatty and chewy, which tells me that they haven’t been smoked long enough), with a rub that screams with notes of cinnamon/coffee. Just weird. I was almost willing to take a chance again, until I saw that on their new menus, no longer were they $18.99 (which already pushed the boundary of acceptability), but $22.99!!! GMAB (“Give me a break” for you text-challenged). This is a casual craphole, and I’m paying $22.99 for mediocrity?!? I passed on the ribs, and ordered a fatty and tasteless brisket platter, which only left me with the conclusion that I can do much better. At least the company was good.

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I took our daughter and her friend to see “Kitt Kittredge, An American Girl”. It was a feel-good story for the ages: a little girl’s father loses his luxury car dealership during the Great Depression, he leaves home to find work in Chicago and doesn’t stay in contact with the family, all while his wife and daughter are forced to take in strangers as boarders, sell eggs and make sackcloth dresses to pay the mortgage, and hire hobos to work around the yard. Nothing says good family entertainment, or brings a smile to your face, like the Depression!

Actually, the movie was quite good, and very well made. In a small, but important role, Stanley Tucci. I have enjoyed him since his “Ricky Pinzolo” days on “Wiseguy”, and I don’t care what others say, who doesn’t love hobos?

What’s especially nice, in today’s economy, is that it’s a movie without any commercial marketing tie-ins. If only I could find a “Kitt” doll…

You’ve been a great audience. Enjoy Boxcar Willie…

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Hail to the Chief

Now that my time as President of the temple has come to an end, some of you have been promoting this idea, and I thank you for your support:

Click here. Eric in 08!


Once again, went to Willy’s Steakhouse in Shrewsbury last night. You know, we are never disappointed there. The mark of an attentive restaurant, and one that appreciates your business-when we sat down, the hostess placed two black cloth napkins at the ladies’ seats, and left the white ones at the men’s’. We realized it was because the women were wearing black, and the men were wearing khaki. The white cloth napkins tend to leave lint, which is obvious on dark colors. The hostess didn’t say anything-she just swapped them out. An excellent touch, with an excellent meal, and excellent company.

Its too bad more casual places can’t at least get the basics right. With so many places to choose from for lunch, you would think the quick-dining establishments would be falling over themselves to do the simple things right. Instead, places that I have frequented in the past just keep doing stupid things.

Exhibit A-“Fresh City”: It’s neither fresh, nor a city…discuss. Well, here’s my story. Last week, I ordered the Baja Ranchero salad. It comes with lettuce, tomato, red onion, carrots, shredded cheese, turkey and guacamole. I asked that the dressing be mixed in, even though I was taking it to go. I wasn’t watching the kid, big mistake there, and when I got back to my office and opened up the container, not only was the dressing mixed in, but he had mixed in the scoop of guacamole, instead of just putting on the edge of the salad. Now, I like guacamole just as much as the next person, but between the dressing and the guacamole, I was drowning in condiments! Plus, for $8.49, they should not only make it right, but also come to my office, feed it to me, and wipe my chin with a napkin once I’m done.

Exhibit B-“Boloco”: This place is like Jekyll and Hyde. I like their food, but they keep stumbling in little, yet annoying ways. Friday, we went for lunch. For the first time there, I ordered a salad. When the guy puts it in a bag, he drops it in sideways, so as you can imagine, the whole things shifts to one end of the container. Then, when I get to the office and open it up, there’s no dressing on it, or in the bag. At Fresh City they drown you in dressing, and at Boloco, they don’t give you any. It just doesn’t make sense. If quick-serve places expect you to patronize their shop at lunch, yes you want it quick, but is it too much to ask that it be right, and include the full list of ingredients, like salad dressing?

Keep the change:

Is anyone else puzzled about the “Keep the Change” promotion by Bank of America? I think this is how it works: you buy something and pay for it with your BofA debit card. Bank of America says “keep the change” but how it works is this-if the item costs $5.49 after tax, BofA rounds up to $6.00, and puts the extra 51 cents in your savings account. Basically, they shift the money from checking to savings. Sure, you “keep the change” because you know what? It’s your money to begin with!!! Who the hell do they think we are? How stupid are we to fall for this ridiculous promotion. I will give them some credit, because for the first few months, they match the transferred change, so you make a couple of bucks on it, but after the 3 month promotion period, BofA is just moving your money around from one account to the other, but you’ll be happy to know it’s “free of charge.” You’ll also be happy to know that they’re also offering free air in all their branches, and access to their ATM machines where you'll be given free access to your money.

Lastly, I know I am not alone when I wonder what the hell Peter Cook is thinking. From MSNBC.com regarding the divorce trial from Christie Brinkley: “The trial found Cook admitting to having an affair with then-18-year-old Diana Bianchi and spending thousands of dollars on Internet porn.” Did anyone ever tell him the naked chick lying next to him was CHRISTIE BRINKLEY!!!! Apparently, for reason unknown to us, she might have been his “girl”, but he couldn’t go “uptown.”

You’ve been a great audience; I’ll be here all week. Enjoy Simply Red.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

The best of…comfort food

I recently had the pleasure of receiving an email from a woman named Betsy, who found me through “The Jordan Rich Show”, and she runs an internet-based food service company; she sent me a sample of her product, which I gladly consumed, over a few days.

Chicken soup!!! You hear me? Chicken soup, with Matzah balls and noodles!!! This was good stuff. Believe me, if it wasn’t good, I’d say so…but it didn’t. Not even close to sucking. Ate it on a cold, rainy June day, and I highly recommend Grandma's Chicken Soup.com! Visit their website (the link is also down in my favorite sites on the lower left), where not only can you sign up for “soup of the month”, but you can order the soup delivered anywhere in the continental U.S. by a real “grandma”! Previously featured on Food Networks “Unwrapped” and on Jordan’s show, and now featured here…Next time, don’t say it with flowers; say it with a matzah ball!
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Washing out the soup bowl of my mind:

Is it me, or is the video quality for the NBA playoffs a throwback to the 1970s? In this day of digital TV, you’d think the production values would exceed that of “The Munsters”.

Speaking of the broadcast, per usual, the national media loves any team and player, NOT from Boston. It’s like the Celtics filmed the Lakers’ walk-through. Magic this, Kobe that…yes, the national media loves Kobe. What’s not to love? Great player, well spoken…rapist! Put Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds and Clubber Lang in a Lakers uniform and the media would eat it up!

The Red Sox are tearing he cover off the ball lately, and apparently each other. Nothing like a brouhaha between Manny and Jewwwwwwwk to get the blood boiling. Manny must have forgotten the Shabbat candles again and Youk was just letting him know not to forget the Havdalah kit Saturday. Just the usual mishugas…

Saw Iron Man last night-better than I expected, and frankly, better than “Indiana Jones…”. With a co-star like Gwyneth Paltrow (she’s half a tribe member, on her late father’s side), I think Iron Man needs x-ray vision!

That’s all I got for now. You’ve been great. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses. Enjoy Phoebe Snow.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

I am not an animal...

As promised, I went to a late showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Almost Washed-Up Has Beens (and in the case of Shia LaBeouf, “Never Was”). I disliked it so much, I saw it again on Saturday with my son and some friends. Its now 4 hours of my life I’ll never get back, so I feel doubly qualified to give you a brief review.

It wasn’t real good. Not awful either. 2 ½ stars.

As I’ve said to a few of you, it reminded me of the oldies concerts on PBS; its fun to watch these groups try to re-live the glory days of their youth, but they’re a few steps behind and a little off-key. So, too, the cast of Indiana Jones. Add in a convoluted story line and Shia LaBeouf (his best days were in “Even Stevens” of the “Battle for Shaker Heights”), and it’s not a cocktail for disaster, but definitely an appetizer for trouble.

As an aside, the years in Lee, Massachusetts have been kind to Karen Allen, but not so much for John Hurt; he looked better in “The Elephant Man” and made more sense.

Unfortunately, the movie was just the “essence” of an Indiana Jones movie, and didn’t do too much for me. I had high hopes, given that the critics have been pushing a three-star rating. Then again, the critics loved “Children of Men” too. For more on my opinion on the current state of movies, check out some very early posting of mine in January and February 2007.

The fun thing about this iteration was watching for the little inside jokes or tribute, “shout-outs” to earlier Spielberg or Lucas movies. (Semi-spoiler alert) From the “American Graffiti” beginning, to the “Close Encounters” ending, with everything in between, it was fun to see what might pop up next. As much fun as that was, the movie was missing the great “a-ha!” moments and when it’s all said and done, there’s nothing left to say and there’s nothing left to do. I wasn’t real sad it was over.
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I am loco for “Boloco”, a local burrito chain with a location in Natick. Really good value for the money, and quality fresh-made burritos. After a recent mis-step when they put sour cream in my burrito (I like sour cream on my burrito about as much as Harry Callahan like ketchup on a hot dog) and a few other little things, I reached out to the management to share my concerns (sounds so polite, right?) They responded in a proper way, with a refund and a credit, and I am pleased to report that 1) they have straightened things out, and 2) as much as I enjoy the burritos, I enjoy free burritos even more. They did right by me, and deserve to get credit for it.
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I wish “Fresh City” would re-evaluate their menu and price structure; talk about over-priced and poor price to value ratio. I’ve noticed the very few times I’ve been there in recent months that the crowds have thinned and I have to believe their numbers are down. With so many other places giving better value (Boloco and Panera Bread among them), they must be thinking about new ideas. Here’s one-lower your prices. By the way, stay away from the cinnamon pita chips. First, cinnamon stimulates the appetite, so you end up spending more money and 2) you ever see anyone use the tongs to pick up those chips? Think about it. Bathrooms at the House of Roy were cleaner than those chip baskets.

You’ve been a great audience. Enjoy the Eurythmics.